








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1182 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 372 matches | ||
| Faceit | 128 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




159 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6657 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,719 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7222 | 35% |
| Smokes | 4928 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3784 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 4785 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,532,365 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 952 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smokesh_^ | 76% | 157 |
| #2 | MLGmatteo | 76% | 45 |
| #3 | cLoudzehh^- | 74% | 43 |
| #4 | zohN=) | 74% | 80 |
| #5 | DEADFOOL | 73% | 127 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | cLoudzehh^- | 74% | 43 |
| #4 | zohN=) | 74% | 80 |
| #5 | DEADFOOL | 73% | 127 |
| #6 | NexGOD | 72% | 148 |
| #7 | TheM4N | 56% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DEADFOOL | 22 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | MLGmatteo | 18 | 0.0168 |
| #3 | NexGOD | 11 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | zohN=) | 8 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | cLoudzehh^- | 7 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NexGOD | 644 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #2 | cLoudzehh^- | 585 | 0.35 | 19 min |
| #3 | smokesh_^ | 387 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #4 | DEADFOOL | 342 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #5 | zohN=) | 317 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zohN=) | +4.34 | 91 | 60 |
| #2 | lumen | +2.99 | 90 | 64 |
| #3 | smokesh_^ | +2.65 | 83 | 48 |
| #4 | cLoudzehh^- | +2.06 | 85 | 81 |
| #5 | NexGOD | +1.59 | 85 | 60 |





