








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 206 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 193 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2830 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,498 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2109 | 38% |
| Smokes | 1477 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 310 | 6% |
| Molotovs | 1602 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,166,716 of utility $216 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 548 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JumpOLot | 81% | 21 |
| #2 | NexGOD | 80% | 30 |
| #3 | lumen | 73% | 127 |
| #4 | deplete | 66% | 41 |
| #5 | feNster | 65% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | feNster | 65% | 23 |
| #6 | GlobalKiller | 65% | 17 |
| #7 | MLGmatteo | 60% | 109 |
| #8 | smokesh_^ | 54% | 13 |
| #9 | S@Lem Re@per | 50% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lumen | 45 | 0.0163 |
| #2 | MLGmatteo | 30 | 0.0128 |
| #3 | deplete | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | NexGOD | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | feNster | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lumen | 776 | 0.28 | 20 min |
| #2 | MLGmatteo | 551 | 0.24 | 15 min |
| #3 | JumpOLot | 180 | 0.40 | 4 min |
| #4 | NexGOD | 155 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #5 | deplete | 130 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lumen | +4.14 | 93 | 62 |
| #2 | GlobalKiller | +3.57 | 89 | 55 |
| #3 | NexGOD | +2.19 | 84 | 61 |
| #4 | deplete | +1.29 | 82 | 56 |
| #5 | DEADFOOL | +0.64 | 86 | 42 |





