








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 86 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
892 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,200 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 129 | 6% |
| Smokes | 701 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 664 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 706 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $290,359 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 225 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WagonBurns | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | LIL_Dikky | 69% | 16 |
| #3 | Vanity | 57% | 7 |
| #4 | pixie | 56% | 16 |
| #5 | SAb0 | 56% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Caz | 54% | 13 |
| #7 | Elons_Musks | 50% | 24 |
| #8 | ari | 48% | 23 |
| #9 | StormBolio | 45% | 33 |
| #10 | 𝕯𝖗𝖎𝖕 | 42% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StormBolio | 3 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | 𝕯𝖗𝖎𝖕 | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | pixie | 1 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | LIL_Dikky | 1 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | WagonBurns | 1 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ari | 78 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #2 | SAb0 | 62 | 0.34 | 1 min |
| #3 | Caz | 45 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | 𝕯𝖗𝖎𝖕 | 41 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | pixie | 40 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Caz | +4.29 | 89 | 62 |
| #2 | pixie | +3.50 | 79 | 48 |
| #3 | 𝕯𝖗𝖎𝖕 | +1.24 | 79 | 50 |
| #4 | Vanity | +1.17 | 63 | 57 |
| #5 | SAb0 | +0.64 | 80 | 59 |





