








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 37 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 124 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1218 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,833 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 423 | 23% |
| Smokes | 196 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 650 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 564 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $263,341 of utility $59 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝓕𝓪𝓲𝓻𝔂 | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | 𝕯𝖗𝖎𝖕 | 53% | 68 |
| #3 | StormBolio | 48% | 81 |
| #4 | Vanity | 48% | 46 |
| #5 | Elons_Musks | 47% | 124 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | 𝕯𝖗𝖎𝖕 | 53% | 68 |
| #3 | StormBolio | 48% | 81 |
| #4 | Vanity | 48% | 46 |
| #5 | Elons_Musks | 47% | 124 |
| #6 | DrDiddlerx69x | 36% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StormBolio | 12 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | Elons_Musks | 9 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | 𝕯𝖗𝖎𝖕 | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | DrDiddlerx69x | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Vanity | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vanity | 231 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #2 | Elons_Musks | 115 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #3 | 𝕯𝖗𝖎𝖕 | 112 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | DrDiddlerx69x | 104 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | StormBolio | 41 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vanity | +4.03 | 66 | 61 |
| #2 | 𝕯𝖗𝖎𝖕 | +3.06 | 80 | 52 |
| #3 | 𝓕𝓪𝓲𝓻𝔂 | +2.53 | 65 | 29 |
| #4 | StormBolio | +1.02 | 43 | 38 |
| #5 | Elons_Musks | -1.27 | 16 | 37 |





