








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
648 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,371 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 374 | 27% |
| Smokes | 434 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 286 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 277 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $187,514 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 72 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Starving African Child | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | Insleight² | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | Insleight³ | 60% | 10 |
| #4 | Insleight⁵ | 56% | 16 |
| #5 | Vibing | 55% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Registered Flex Offender | 2 | 0.0104 |
| #2 | StormBolio | 1 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Insleight⁵ | 1 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Vibing | 1 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | Insleight³ | 1 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Insleight² | +2.43 | 50 | 30 |
| #2 | Insleight⁴ | +1.95 | 53 | 21 |
| #3 | Vibing | +1.72 | 68 | 57 |
| #4 | Registered Flex Offender | +1.45 | 62 | 51 |
| #5 | DJ | +1.37 | 72 | 46 |





