








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 126 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 169 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1328 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 713 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 72 | 10% |
| Smokes | 256 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 67 | 9% |
| Molotovs | 318 | 45% |
Our logs show you have wasted $414,412 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 32 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crazypop2.0 | 38% | 50 |
| #2 | Howling Mad | 34% | 71 |
| #3 | Saviour of the beaten and the da | 33% | 36 |
| #4 | Bloody | 33% | 164 |
| #5 | Word | 29% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Saviour of the beaten and the da | 33% | 36 |
| #4 | Bloody | 33% | 164 |
| #5 | Word | 29% | 24 |
| #6 | Cabbage Dijon | 28% | 104 |
| #7 | DinoAfro | 27% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DinoAfro | 13 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | crazypop2.0 | 4 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Bloody | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Word | 3 | 0.0069 |
| #5 | Cabbage Dijon | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cabbage Dijon | 243 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | Bloody | 212 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | Howling Mad | 74 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | Saviour of the beaten and the da | 60 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Word | 36 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saviour of the beaten and the da | +5.06 | 32 | 75 |
| #2 | Word | +4.07 | 47 | 36 |
| #3 | crazypop2.0 | +1.50 | 50 | 44 |
| #4 | Bloody | -0.10 | 19 | 35 |
| #5 | DinoAfro | -1.39 | 17 | 20 |





