








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 205 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 392 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 101 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3189 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,346 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2874 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3918 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4037 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4517 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,825,926 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 250 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DarkVenom | 64% | 28 |
| #2 | ♥ f1shy ♥ | 59% | 27 |
| #3 | Enigma | 42% | 62 |
| #4 | Word | 41% | 34 |
| #5 | Cabbage Dijon | 39% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Enigma | 42% | 62 |
| #4 | Word | 41% | 34 |
| #5 | Cabbage Dijon | 39% | 46 |
| #6 | DinoAfro | 37% | 144 |
| #7 | Jelly | 33% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DinoAfro | 9 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Word | 4 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | Jelly | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Enigma | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | ♥ f1shy ♥ | 2 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cabbage Dijon | 108 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | DinoAfro | 82 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #3 | ♥ f1shy ♥ | 57 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | Word | 35 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Enigma | 15 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥ f1shy ♥ | +2.79 | 69 | 54 |
| #2 | Word | +2.68 | 57 | 44 |
| #3 | Saviour of the beaten and the da | +1.19 | 26 | 74 |
| #4 | Cabbage Dijon | -2.39 | 26 | 51 |
| #5 | Jelly | -2.41 | 7 | 12 |





