










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 140 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 265 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 58 matches | ||
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 30 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4639 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,224 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2883 | 19% |
| Smokes | 4809 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3380 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4152 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,803,066 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1258 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...





