








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 156 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 30 matches | ||
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




74 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3417 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,644 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3633 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3057 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3175 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1779 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $784,819 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 384 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | bORB | 54% | 46 |
| #5 | LowlifeTiger794 | 53% | 218 |
| #6 | Leonopterxy | 51% | 39 |
| #7 | cuti3_p13 | 51% | 236 |
| #8 | Seanie, Auditor of Crota | 48% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LowlifeTiger794 | 30 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | bORB | 9 | 0.0101 |
| #3 | Seanie, Auditor of Crota | 8 | 0.0170 |
| #4 | cuti3_p13 | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Trash Panda Happy Cat Investor | 3 | 0.0040 |





