








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 156 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2679 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,969 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1345 | 34% |
| Smokes | 807 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1115 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 702 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $714,511 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 133 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CoolDude63 | 63% | 27 |
| #2 | Super_Moky | 53% | 79 |
| #3 | Zenuss | 53% | 76 |
| #4 | Soda | 49% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CoolDude63 | 63% | 27 |
| #2 | Super_Moky | 53% | 79 |
| #3 | Zenuss | 53% | 76 |
| #4 | Soda | 49% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Super_Moky | 8 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | Zenuss | 7 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Soda | 6 | 0.0069 |
| #4 | CoolDude63 | 2 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Super_Moky | 382 | 0.25 | 7 min |
| #2 | Zenuss | 238 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #3 | Soda | 110 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | CoolDude63 | 45 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Super_Moky | +1.86 | 75 | 61 |
| #2 | ksh1Nx~ | +0.95 | 82 | 42 |
| #3 | Zenuss | -0.61 | 40 | 63 |
| #4 | CoolDude63 | -0.67 | 48 | 57 |
| #5 | Soda | -2.16 | 50 | 44 |





