








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 85 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 394 matches | ||
| Faceit | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6495 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,343 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7352 | 36% |
| Smokes | 5607 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4384 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3000 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,092,098 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 204 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ππππ | 51% | 120 |
| #2 | Wiked-Shooter | 50% | 30 |
| #3 | βΉβΆβββ§ | 49% | 101 |
| #4 | Reedle | 48% | 58 |
| #5 | blarvis | 48% | 128 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Reedle | 48% | 58 |
| #5 | blarvis | 48% | 128 |
| #6 | M0nesy | 47% | 191 |
| #7 | plebxta | 45% | 73 |
| #8 | Double barrel Darrell | 41% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M0nesy | 12 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | ππππ | 10 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Double barrel Darrell | 6 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | blarvis | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Reedle | 3 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ππππ | 418 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #2 | blarvis | 239 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | Double barrel Darrell | 202 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | Reedle | 193 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | βΉβΆβββ§ | 170 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ππππ | +2.16 | 72 | 57 |
| #2 | βΉβΆβββ§ | +2.08 | 94 | 38 |
| #3 | MooseKnuckles | +1.79 | 70 | 62 |
| #4 | plebxta | -0.06 | 75 | 40 |
| #5 | Reedle | -0.10 | 62 | 63 |





