








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 177 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 129 matches | ||
| Faceit | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2272 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,544 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2477 | 55% |
| Smokes | 652 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 470 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 945 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $282,489 of utility $55 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 309 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⒹⒶⓃⓀ✧ | 50% | 38 |
| #2 | ☢ЯЦПΣ✟BIƧΉӨP☢ | 48% | 27 |
| #3 | M0nesy | 47% | 74 |
| #4 | blarvis | 46% | 28 |
| #5 | MooseKnuckles | 41% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⒹⒶⓃⓀ✧ | 50% | 38 |
| #2 | ☢ЯЦПΣ✟BIƧΉӨP☢ | 48% | 27 |
| #3 | M0nesy | 47% | 74 |
| #4 | blarvis | 46% | 28 |
| #5 | MooseKnuckles | 41% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M0nesy | 7 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | MooseKnuckles | 6 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | blarvis | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MooseKnuckles | 258 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #2 | ⒹⒶⓃⓀ✧ | 87 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | blarvis | 62 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | ☢ЯЦПΣ✟BIƧΉӨP☢ | 36 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | M0nesy | 31 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MooseKnuckles | +2.39 | 64 | 61 |
| #2 | ⒹⒶⓃⓀ✧ | +0.97 | 96 | 38 |
| #3 | M0nesy | +0.71 | 58 | 27 |
| #4 | Double barrel Darrell | -0.13 | 59 | 47 |
| #5 | blarvis | -1.39 | 61 | 54 |





