








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 342 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 402 matches | ||
| Faceit | 151 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4279 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,872 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 581 | 15% |
| Smokes | 422 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 2391 | 62% |
| Molotovs | 478 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $672,254 of utility $51 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 477 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bryan | 53% | 32 |
| #2 | Carter | 51% | 41 |
| #3 | Cuzy | 47% | 74 |
| #4 | vzjavi | 47% | 316 |
| #5 | Gota Cheese | 47% | 191 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Cuzy | 47% | 74 |
| #4 | vzjavi | 47% | 316 |
| #5 | Gota Cheese | 47% | 191 |
| #6 | ΛBЯΛXΛƧ | 46% | 54 |
| #7 | DANK✧ | 46% | 270 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gota Cheese | 14 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | DANK✧ | 13 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | vzjavi | 11 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Cuzy | 7 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | Carter | 2 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gota Cheese | 559 | 0.14 | 15 min |
| #2 | vzjavi | 500 | 0.07 | 12 min |
| #3 | DANK✧ | 403 | 0.07 | 11 min |
| #4 | Cuzy | 268 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | Bryan | 184 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DANK✧ | +2.26 | 94 | 35 |
| #2 | Gota Cheese | +2.24 | 62 | 54 |
| #3 | mONESY | -0.60 | 51 | 18 |
| #4 | vzjavi | -0.74 | 55 | 47 |
| #5 | Carter | -0.89 | 60 | 28 |





