








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 567 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 381 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 145 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




125 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9140 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,158 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10905 | 33% |
| Smokes | 9824 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 6563 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 5866 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,976,755 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2828 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | y. KxLviNN'je | 72 | 0.0134 |
| #2 | why. im so high ! | 70 | 0.0149 |
| #3 | «DN»Victor | 64 | 0.0185 |
| #4 | RR | 55 | 0.0095 |
| #5 | y.7berdeg™ | 53 | 0.0258 |





