








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 582 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 245 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




96 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3868 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,291 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1384 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1708 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 4046 | 44% |
| Molotovs | 2153 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,401,765 of utility $218 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 146 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | why. im so high ! | 64 | 0.0173 |
| #2 | 12 | 45 | 0.0077 |
| #3 | «DN»Victor | 41 | 0.0138 |
| #4 | ziiiimaa | 33 | 0.0170 |
| #5 | Mugii | 31 | 0.0105 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 12 | 1131 | 0.19 | 37 min |
| #2 | why. im so high ! | 586 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #3 | «DN»Victor | 464 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #4 | y. KxLviNN'je | 391 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #5 | ziiiimaa | 309 | 0.16 | 8 min |





