








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 415 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 54 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




81 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3436 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,890 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 967 | 14% |
| Smokes | 1388 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2178 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2357 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $442,112 of utility $62 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 228 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 12 | 28 | 0.0087 |
| #2 | «DN»Victor | 28 | 0.0200 |
| #3 | ziiiimaa | 27 | 0.0192 |
| #4 | y. KxLviNN'je | 25 | 0.0111 |
| #5 | RR | 23 | 0.0078 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 12 | 551 | 0.17 | 16 min |
| #2 | y. KxLviNN'je | 370 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #3 | «DN»Victor | 242 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | ziiiimaa | 229 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | why. im so high ! | 159 | 0.17 | 4 min |





