








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 450 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 470 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Esplay | 24 matches | 1,216 | |
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 58 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3063 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,403 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1975 | 15% |
| Smokes | 3016 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4101 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 4311 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,072,637 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maybe not =D | 49% | 45 |
| #2 | #Business #Invest #BrightFuture | 41% | 532 |
| #3 | Umuliuz | 40% | 547 |
| #4 | Larzraz | 39% | 397 |
| #5 | Hoegh | 38% | 354 |





