








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 695 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 341 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 54 matches | ||
| Wingman | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 44 matches | ||
| Esplay | 36 matches | 1,294 | |
| Competitive Vertigo | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 29 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 67 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5175 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,681 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4900 | 17% |
| Smokes | 7010 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 9595 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 8176 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,173,249 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 511 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maybe not =D | 46% | 402 |
| #2 | AleksanderTheGreat / Prฉฑ†o™ ✅ | 45% | 205 |
| #3 | #Business #Invest #BrightFuture | 44% | 466 |
| #4 | Umuliuz | 43% | 454 |
| #5 | Brydeboel | 43% | 287 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | norbandit97 | 39% | 397 |
| #8 | Hoegh | 38% | 214 |
| #9 | ♚︎ ✗ ζτιяυαħ ツ | 36% | 132 |
| #10 | Matilde_ks | 29% | 93 |
| #11 | VESTFYEN | 28% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AleksanderTheGreat / Prฉฑ†o™ ✅ | 15 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | maybe not =D | 9 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | #Business #Invest #BrightFuture | 8 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Brydeboel | 8 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Hoegh | 8 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maybe not =D | 1366 | 0.18 | 29 min |
| #2 | #Business #Invest #BrightFuture | 932 | 0.10 | 22 min |
| #3 | ♚︎ ✗ ζτιяυαħ ツ | 535 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #4 | Brydeboel | 529 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #5 | AleksanderTheGreat / Prฉฑ†o™ ✅ | 408 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maybe not =D | +5.63 | 84 | 57 |
| #2 | AleksanderTheGreat / Prฉฑ†o™ ✅ | +5.56 | 81 | 57 |
| #3 | #Business #Invest #BrightFuture | +2.77 | 61 | 51 |
| #4 | bTholdy | +0.95 | 78 | 72 |
| #5 | ♚︎ ✗ ζτιяυαħ ツ | -1.17 | 33 | 65 |





