








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1046 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 400 matches | ||
| Wingman | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Esplay | 32 matches | 1,243 | |
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 116 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3907 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,674 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1919 | 12% |
| Smokes | 4463 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3732 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5560 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,810,286 of utility $226 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 494 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maybe not =D | 51% | 93 |
| #2 | #Business #Invest #BrightFuture | 46% | 800 |
| #3 | Larzraz | 43% | 454 |
| #4 | Hoegh | 40% | 377 |
| #5 | norbandit97 | 40% | 547 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | #Business #Invest #BrightFuture | 1456 | 0.10 | 34 min |
| #2 | Larzraz | 1089 | 0.12 | 23 min |
| #3 | Hoegh | 602 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #4 | norbandit97 | 306 | 0.03 | 6 min |
| #5 | maybe not =D | 296 | 0.16 | 7 min |





