








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
977 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,440 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1114 | 32% |
| Smokes | 899 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 702 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 725 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $331,582 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 44 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Risky Business | 61% | 18 |
| #2 | John Clark | 59% | 22 |
| #3 | Truesh0t(Not Mad) | 59% | 29 |
| #4 | Burntmoose | 57% | 54 |
| #5 | Zong | 55% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Burntmoose | 10 | 0.0090 |
| #2 | chudmuska | 4 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Zong | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | John Clark | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Risky Business | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Burntmoose | 270 | 0.24 | 8 min |
| #2 | chudmuska | 123 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | Risky Business | 116 | 0.30 | 3 min |
| #4 | John Clark | 55 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | hailhades | 52 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Burntmoose | +2.77 | 77 | 72 |
| #2 | ~ui~ | +1.14 | 67 | 65 |
| #3 | Risky Business | +1.02 | 82 | 79 |
| #4 | hailhades | -0.07 | 52 | 55 |
| #5 | Zong | -0.39 | 67 | 58 |





