








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 627 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 244 matches | ||
| Wingman | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2153 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,966 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 295 | 10% |
| Smokes | 1362 | 46% |
| HE Grenades | 267 | 9% |
| Molotovs | 1042 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $384,497 of utility $49 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 232 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | coRnhoLio L.A. | 55% | 40 |
| #2 | Gymcl4ssHer0w | 53% | 45 |
| #3 | donsimon | 51% | 76 |
| #4 | Weiss | 49% | 43 |
| #5 | Pey’j L.A. | 47% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Weiss | 49% | 43 |
| #5 | Pey’j L.A. | 47% | 117 |
| #6 | AIMGOD MG Donalds | 41% | 37 |
| #7 | Goaty | 38% | 61 |
| #8 | Akitobi | 27% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | donsimon | 6 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Pey’j L.A. | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | coRnhoLio L.A. | 4 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | Goaty | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Akitobi | 3 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | coRnhoLio L.A. | 177 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #2 | Gymcl4ssHer0w | 126 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | Akitobi | 47 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Pey’j L.A. | 46 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | Weiss | 46 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | coRnhoLio L.A. | +2.72 | 45 | 65 |
| #2 | donsimon | +1.98 | 36 | 28 |
| #3 | Weiss | +1.38 | 50 | 43 |
| #4 | Gymcl4ssHer0w | +0.82 | 37 | 60 |
| #5 | AIMGOD MG Donalds | +0.30 | 31 | 22 |





