








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 135 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 344 matches | ||
| Wingman | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1783 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,330 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 187 | 3% |
| Smokes | 1409 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2536 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 2198 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,513,868 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gymcl4ssHer0w | 56% | 32 |
| #2 | coRnhoLio L.A. | 43% | 97 |
| #3 | donsimon | 42% | 302 |
| #4 | AIMGOD MG Donalds | 41% | 92 |
| #5 | eeph | 41% | 114 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | cpt | 38% | 73 |
| #8 | F1nky L.A. | 38% | 61 |
| #9 | Akitobi | 36% | 47 |
| #10 | Weiss | 35% | 60 |
| #11 | MrsCryptic | 33% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | donsimon | 8 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | coRnhoLio L.A. | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Pey’j L.A. | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | eeph | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | F1nky L.A. | 3 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | coRnhoLio L.A. | 384 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #2 | eeph | 271 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | donsimon | 196 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #4 | Pey’j L.A. | 134 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #5 | Gymcl4ssHer0w | 89 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eeph | +4.01 | 75 | 59 |
| #2 | coRnhoLio L.A. | +2.12 | 49 | 61 |
| #3 | cpt | +0.63 | 32 | 47 |
| #4 | donsimon | +0.45 | 41 | 25 |
| #5 | Gymcl4ssHer0w | +0.18 | 39 | 66 |





