










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 240 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
270 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 714 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 278 | 39% |
| Smokes | 230 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 121 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 85 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $215,565 of utility $248 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 66 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shaquille O´Neal | 25% | 4 |
| #2 | Josef Fritzl | 22% | 9 |
| #3 | JuGG4 | 18% | 17 |
| #4 | PILLUMIES | 13% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shaquille O´Neal | 25% | 4 |
| #2 | Josef Fritzl | 22% | 9 |
| #3 | JuGG4 | 18% | 17 |
| #4 | PILLUMIES | 13% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Josef Fritzl | 4 | 0.0226 |
| #2 | PILLUMIES | 3 | 0.0105 |
| #3 | JuGG4 | 2 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JuGG4 | 9 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #2 | Josef Fritzl | 7 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #3 | Shaquille O´Neal | 6 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #4 | PILLUMIES | 3 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Josef Fritzl | +1.92 | 70 | 63 |
| #2 | Shaquille O´Neal | -0.33 | 18 | 41 |
| #3 | PILLUMIES | -0.59 | 6 | 43 |
| #4 | STONE FACE LONELY SIGMA WOLF | -0.82 | 25 | 43 |
| #5 | JuGG4 | -9.02 | 1 | 12 |





