








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 185 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 52 matches | ||
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




68 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3852 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,332 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3538 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2955 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3051 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2788 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $681,961 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ValdR | 61% | 154 |
| #2 | Seiba | 58% | 57 |
| #3 | Harley Quinn | 53% | 315 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ValdR | 61% | 154 |
| #2 | Seiba | 58% | 57 |
| #3 | Harley Quinn | 53% | 315 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Harley Quinn | 21 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Seiba | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | ValdR | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Harley Quinn | 323 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #2 | ValdR | 160 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #3 | Seiba | 104 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Primo | +3.31 | 71 | 64 |
| #2 | Seiba | +1.30 | 51 | 57 |
| #3 | ValdR | +0.11 | 29 | 50 |
| #4 | Harley Quinn | -1.45 | 29 | 50 |





