








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 247 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 139 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2028 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,553 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1159 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2916 | 53% |
| HE Grenades | 553 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 925 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $621,427 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 97 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Harley Quinn | 62% | 125 |
| #2 | El Primo | 61% | 154 |
| #3 | Seiba | 59% | 41 |
| #4 | gvakamole | 42% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Harley Quinn | 62% | 125 |
| #2 | El Primo | 61% | 154 |
| #3 | Seiba | 59% | 41 |
| #4 | gvakamole | 42% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Primo | 36 | 0.0116 |
| #2 | Harley Quinn | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Seiba | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | gvakamole | 2 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Primo | 349 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #2 | Harley Quinn | 129 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | Seiba | 84 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Primo | +3.98 | 71 | 65 |
| #2 | Seiba | +2.37 | 49 | 58 |
| #3 | ValdR | +1.08 | 34 | 54 |
| #4 | Harley Quinn | -0.94 | 28 | 51 |
| #5 | gvakamole | -7.64 | 8 | 4 |





