








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 310 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3239 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,030 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3726 | 34% |
| Smokes | 3482 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2607 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1215 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $338,658 of utility $43 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 73 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ummi | 58% | 97 |
| #2 | ◢◤ツM | 51% | 126 |
| #3 | ´´ | 50% | 42 |
| #4 | Cykabanaan | 49% | 136 |
| #5 | K | 44% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ummi | 58% | 97 |
| #2 | ◢◤ツM | 51% | 126 |
| #3 | ´´ | 50% | 42 |
| #4 | Cykabanaan | 49% | 136 |
| #5 | K | 44% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ummi | 13 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | ◢◤ツM | 11 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Cykabanaan | 10 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | ´´ | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | K | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ◢◤ツM | 383 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #2 | Cykabanaan | 225 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | ummi | 210 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | ´´ | 181 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #5 | K | 168 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | K | +1.86 | 76 | 64 |
| #2 | ummi | +1.72 | 59 | 69 |
| #3 | ´´ | +0.41 | 76 | 68 |
| #4 | ◢◤ツM | -0.09 | 31 | 74 |
| #5 | joekas | -0.45 | 75 | 59 |





