










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 134 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 214 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2387 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,425 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3783 | 36% |
| Smokes | 3111 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1417 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 2114 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $612,022 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 261 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | juskA | 57% | 23 |
| #2 | swag god 15 ? | 56% | 16 |
| #3 | ummi | 51% | 73 |
| #4 | joekas | 50% | 42 |
| #5 | ◢◤ツM | 46% | 123 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ummi | 12 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | ◢◤ツM | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | joekas | 4 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | Cykabanaan | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | juskA | 2 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ◢◤ツM | 337 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #2 | ummi | 153 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | juskA | 129 | 0.30 | 4 min |
| #4 | joekas | 87 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Cykabanaan | 70 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | juskA | +5.17 | 86 | 71 |
| #2 | swag god 15 ? | +2.96 | 81 | 51 |
| #3 | K | +2.75 | 76 | 63 |
| #4 | ummi | +0.84 | 52 | 68 |
| #5 | ´´ | -0.26 | 78 | 67 |





