








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 30 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
664 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 776 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 201 | 26% |
| Smokes | 114 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 277 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 184 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $105,876 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Philadelphia Collins | 50% | 8 |
| #2 | realnwordalert | 38% | 34 |
| #3 | ✪ Jay Huncho | 35% | 20 |
| #4 | BootyMuncher | 30% | 10 |
| #5 | Mr.Dolphin | 30% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.Dolphin | 6 | 0.0152 |
| #2 | TEACHER | 4 | 0.0108 |
| #3 | realnwordalert | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | ✪ Jay Huncho | 2 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | Zincfingers | 2 | 0.0089 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.Dolphin | 71 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #2 | ✪ Jay Huncho | 41 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | Darby | 37 | 0.25 | 0 min |
| #4 | TEACHER | 31 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Zincfingers | 24 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | benzo | +4.50 | 96 | 25 |
| #2 | Philadelphia Collins | +3.69 | 90 | 26 |
| #3 | BootyMuncher | +1.77 | 81 | 33 |
| #4 | ☹ | +0.61 | 80 | 43 |
| #5 | ✪ Jay Huncho | -0.70 | 66 | 37 |





