










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 474 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5351 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,354 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6613 | 27% |
| Smokes | 6044 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 6394 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5303 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $465,775 of utility $41 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 333 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 戦え | 46% | 41 |
| #2 | Brrrm | 44% | 107 |
| #3 | Spioniro Golubiro | 44% | 55 |
| #4 | Sniper Jony | 42% | 31 |
| #5 | Max582 | 42% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Brrrm | 44% | 107 |
| #3 | Spioniro Golubiro | 44% | 55 |
| #4 | Sniper Jony | 42% | 31 |
| #5 | Max582 | 42% | 84 |
| #6 | Natula | 41% | 198 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brrrm | 18 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | Natula | 11 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Max582 | 11 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | Spioniro Golubiro | 5 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | 戦え | 4 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Natula | 299 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #2 | Brrrm | 243 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | Max582 | 135 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | 戦え | 110 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | Spioniro Golubiro | 88 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spioniro Golubiro | +4.24 | 73 | 67 |
| #2 | 戦え | +2.38 | 78 | 69 |
| #3 | Brrrm | +1.37 | 56 | 52 |
| #4 | Sniper Jony | +1.00 | 67 | 59 |
| #5 | HORDO | +0.91 | 82 | 66 |





