








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 724 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 390 matches | ||
| Wingman | 162 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 60 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




68 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5096 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,227 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3485 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3712 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3304 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2726 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,130,480 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 259 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | seb | 49% | 43 |
| #9 | Max582 | 48% | 284 |
| #10 | Natula | 45% | 144 |
| #11 | HORDO | 44% | 107 |
| #12 | (★) Wajko | 39% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Max582 | 41 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | Spioniro Golubiro | 34 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | ☔ JirinAtack ☔ | 11 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | HORDO | 8 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Sniper Jony | 7 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spioniro Golubiro | 551 | 0.08 | 13 min |
| #2 | HORDO | 416 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #3 | Max582 | 390 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #4 | Rybbb | 250 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | Natula | 247 | 0.08 | 5 min |





