








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 580 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 301 matches | ||
| Wingman | 101 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




67 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3395 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,365 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1922 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2259 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1519 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1665 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,955,349 of utility $216 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 363 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | ☔ JirinAtack ☔ | 48% | 105 |
| #10 | Spioniro Golubiro | 46% | 199 |
| #11 | Natula | 42% | 114 |
| #12 | HORDO | 42% | 84 |
| #13 | (★) Wajko | 40% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brrrm | 677 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #2 | HORDO | 336 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #3 | Spioniro Golubiro | 322 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #4 | Rybbb | 258 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | Sniper Jony | 254 | 0.12 | 6 min |





