








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 661 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3337 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,298 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4499 | 34% |
| Smokes | 3614 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2946 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2239 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $886,110 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 119 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | [Smørre] Sveni | 41% | 39 |
| #4 | Lance420CS_YT | 41% | 230 |
| #5 | Zedra | 40% | 136 |
| #6 | [Smørre]hobbyhorser | 40% | 48 |
| #7 | Koksmo | 35% | 141 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lance420CS_YT | 19 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | [Smørre]hobbyhorser | 9 | 0.0097 |
| #3 | Koksmo | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Zedra | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Lunaric | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lance420CS_YT | 485 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #2 | Zedra | 466 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #3 | Lunaric | 271 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | Koksmo | 86 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | [Smørre] Sveni | 70 | 0.09 | 1 min |





