










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 36 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
241 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 283 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 47 | 17% |
| Smokes | 101 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 29 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 106 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $697,223 of utility $291 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | c8 | 32% | 88 |
| #2 | oXygen | 30% | 10 |
| #3 | XeNonskii | 29% | 59 |
| #4 | GoD_Milo | 27% | 15 |
| #5 | Shake | 23% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | XeNonskii | 29% | 59 |
| #4 | GoD_Milo | 27% | 15 |
| #5 | Shake | 23% | 30 |
| #6 | Hyundai Ioniq 5 | 0% | 6 |
| #7 | | 0% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XeNonskii | 6 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Shake | 4 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | oXygen | 1 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | | 1 | 0.0067 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | c8 | 216 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #2 | XeNonskii | 116 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | Shake | 54 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | GoD_Milo | 51 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | | 20 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oXygen | +7.95 | 83 | 54 |
| #2 | XeNonskii | +7.80 | 86 | 43 |
| #3 | Hyundai Ioniq 5 | +0.97 | 54 | 37 |
| #4 | | +0.76 | 44 | 34 |
| #5 | Shake | +0.42 | 42 | 44 |





