








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 865 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 927 matches | ||
| Premier | 448 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 226 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 81 matches | ||
| Wingman | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




299 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
21678 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 50,746 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12135 | 24% |
| Smokes | 11683 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 14160 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 12768 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,600,408 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7999 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✨قوست | 253 | 0.0160 |
| #2 | Lelush✨ | 90 | 0.0110 |
| #3 | 702.🥀 | 56 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | Tazzmaster | 42 | 0.0069 |
| #5 | -.BaN | 32 | 0.0098 |





