








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1050 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 128 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 75 matches | ||
| Premier | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4969 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,602 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5578 | 41% |
| Smokes | 4861 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 1183 | 9% |
| Molotovs | 1980 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,579,337 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 298 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nob0dy | 59% | 56 |
| #2 | フリーレン | 58% | 59 |
| #3 | Smile<3 | 57% | 44 |
| #4 | Kenny | 56% | 112 |
| #5 | qqbiscuit2002 | 53% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | フリーレン | 58% | 59 |
| #3 | Smile<3 | 57% | 44 |
| #4 | Kenny | 56% | 112 |
| #5 | qqbiscuit2002 | 53% | 58 |
| #6 | LEo | 52% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LEo | 8 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | フリーレン | 6 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | Nob0dy | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Kenny | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | qqbiscuit2002 | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kenny | 531 | 0.23 | 14 min |
| #2 | Nob0dy | 311 | 0.26 | 7 min |
| #3 | フリーレン | 283 | 0.25 | 6 min |
| #4 | LEo | 227 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #5 | Smile<3 | 202 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smile<3 | +3.25 | 83 | 68 |
| #2 | JaDeer_- | +2.20 | 67 | 64 |
| #3 | LEo | +1.80 | 53 | 60 |
| #4 | qqbiscuit2002 | +0.77 | 49 | 54 |
| #5 | フリーレン | +0.26 | 48 | 50 |





