








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 540 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Premier | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 77 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1600 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,792 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2322 | 40% |
| Smokes | 1283 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1431 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 756 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $453,098 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 166 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ejectre | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | 煙燻鮭魚 | 62% | 21 |
| #3 | Smile<3 | 59% | 37 |
| #4 | JaDeer_- | 58% | 59 |
| #5 | 蛤 | 54% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Kenny | 45% | 100 |
| #10 | Nob0dy | 42% | 57 |
| #11 | 小心 | 41% | 46 |
| #12 | Krist^ | 39% | 33 |
| #13 | Green | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nob0dy | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | qqbiscuit2002 | 4 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | LEo | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Krist^ | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | 蟲惑魔 | 2 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kenny | 512 | 0.25 | 13 min |
| #2 | Nob0dy | 283 | 0.25 | 6 min |
| #3 | JaDeer_- | 208 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #4 | LEo | 180 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #5 | 蟲惑魔 | 167 | 0.29 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Krist^ | +3.70 | 70 | 66 |
| #2 | Smile<3 | +3.39 | 81 | 65 |
| #3 | LEo | +2.79 | 46 | 58 |
| #4 | JaDeer_- | +2.13 | 68 | 60 |
| #5 | Ejectre | +1.80 | 26 | 25 |





