








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
950 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,259 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1062 | 33% |
| Smokes | 842 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 569 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 786 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $254,111 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Peaches | 93% | 14 |
| #2 | Roidrage10 | 84% | 25 |
| #3 | TheLaw11 | 73% | 51 |
| #4 | Chino she/her | 70% | 10 |
| #5 | Kilo | 66% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Chino she/her | 70% | 10 |
| #5 | Kilo | 66% | 35 |
| #6 | Oopie Goopy | 63% | 27 |
| #7 | Noleafy | 57% | 7 |
| #8 | Grimple | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kilo | 7 | 0.0107 |
| #2 | TheLaw11 | 6 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | Peaches | 6 | 0.0227 |
| #4 | Roidrage10 | 5 | 0.0108 |
| #5 | Chino she/her | 1 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oopie Goopy | 120 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #2 | Kilo | 40 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | Peaches | 37 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | TheLaw11 | 34 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Roidrage10 | 29 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oopie Goopy | +3.36 | 70 | 57 |
| #2 | Peaches | +2.48 | 70 | 31 |
| #3 | Kilo | +2.08 | 50 | 19 |
| #4 | CheeseBall | +1.54 | 80 | 55 |
| #5 | Roidrage10 | +1.53 | 66 | 52 |





