








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1790 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,792 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 518 | 29% |
| Smokes | 624 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 397 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 253 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $244,313 of utility $59 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CheeseBall | 66% | 35 |
| #2 | Roidrage10 | 63% | 79 |
| #3 | Peaches | 63% | 59 |
| #4 | TheLaw11 | 54% | 204 |
| #5 | Oopie Goopy | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CheeseBall | 66% | 35 |
| #2 | Roidrage10 | 63% | 79 |
| #3 | Peaches | 63% | 59 |
| #4 | TheLaw11 | 54% | 204 |
| #5 | Oopie Goopy | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheLaw11 | 15 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Peaches | 14 | 0.0131 |
| #3 | Roidrage10 | 8 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | CheeseBall | 4 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Peaches | 156 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #2 | Roidrage10 | 117 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | TheLaw11 | 112 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #4 | CheeseBall | 78 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Oopie Goopy | 74 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kilo | +2.49 | 57 | 26 |
| #2 | Peaches | +1.93 | 80 | 43 |
| #3 | Roidrage10 | +1.08 | 64 | 55 |
| #4 | CheeseBall | +0.82 | 79 | 50 |
| #5 | Oopie Goopy | +0.77 | 67 | 49 |





