








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 56 matches | ||
| Esplay | 1 match | 1,970 |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
540 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,981 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 873 | 29% |
| Smokes | 588 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 868 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 652 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $50,805 of utility $42 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 45 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Discojanne 2.0 | 50% | 4 |
| #7 | melvin | 50% | 6 |
| #8 | para | 43% | 7 |
| #9 | Luder | 33% | 3 |
| #10 | Joe | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | menton666 | 38 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #2 | Turboo | 15 | 0.26 | 0 min |
| #3 | melvin | 14 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #4 | para | 10 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | Discojanne 2.0 | 7 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Turboo | +6.12 | 69 | 64 |
| #2 | p0wer | +2.10 | 84 | 57 |
| #3 | Discojanne 2.0 | +2.03 | 56 | 74 |
| #4 | melvin | +1.16 | 69 | 63 |
| #5 | stevooo | -0.06 | 66 | 75 |





