








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 320 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 283 matches | ||
| Faceit | 148 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3459 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,160 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3167 | 18% |
| Smokes | 3067 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 6126 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 4800 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,167,039 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 506 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Polar | 66% | 35 |
| #2 | GreatGuy1912.Kroger | 58% | 43 |
| #3 | ParahSalin | 58% | 57 |
| #4 | n8wad | 53% | 328 |
| #5 | JOHN WITHERSPOON | 52% | 193 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | GreatGuy1912.Kroger | 58% | 43 |
| #3 | ParahSalin | 58% | 57 |
| #4 | n8wad | 53% | 328 |
| #5 | JOHN WITHERSPOON | 52% | 193 |
| #6 | Tyrone Biggums | 43% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JOHN WITHERSPOON | 10 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | n8wad | 8 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | ParahSalin | 8 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | GreatGuy1912.Kroger | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Tyrone Biggums | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JOHN WITHERSPOON | 921 | 0.22 | 20 min |
| #2 | n8wad | 784 | 0.11 | 19 min |
| #3 | ParahSalin | 275 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #4 | Polar | 93 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | GreatGuy1912.Kroger | 53 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JOHN WITHERSPOON | +1.95 | 69 | 53 |
| #2 | n8wad | +0.73 | 61 | 60 |
| #3 | Polar | +0.38 | 53 | 68 |
| #4 | Uncc | +0.19 | 72 | 56 |
| #5 | GreatGuy1912.Kroger | -1.23 | 66 | 49 |





