








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 25 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1366 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,822 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1233 | 32% |
| Smokes | 473 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 1123 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 993 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $561,350 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n8wad | 57% | 146 |
| #2 | Schmoople | 57% | 60 |
| #3 | GreatGuy1912.Kroger | 52% | 33 |
| #4 | ParahSalin | 51% | 65 |
| #5 | Uncc | 43% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ParahSalin | 250 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #2 | n8wad | 229 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | Schmoople | 97 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Uncc | 67 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | GreatGuy1912.Kroger | 40 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n8wad | +5.01 | 82 | 61 |
| #2 | Schmoople | +2.50 | 67 | 53 |
| #3 | GreatGuy1912.Kroger | +2.15 | 84 | 52 |
| #4 | Uncc | +1.20 | 78 | 57 |
| #5 | ParahSalin | -0.52 | 48 | 41 |





