








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 173 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 104 matches | ||
| Faceit | 69 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2071 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,434 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1099 | 15% |
| Smokes | 2221 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2143 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1971 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $946,475 of utility $195 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wZy | 64% | 53 |
| #2 | sigma grindset | 58% | 140 |
| #3 | i need more boollets | 55% | 170 |
| #4 | Chewbacca | 49% | 111 |
| #5 | FoLy | 43% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | sigma grindset | 58% | 140 |
| #3 | i need more boollets | 55% | 170 |
| #4 | Chewbacca | 49% | 111 |
| #5 | FoLy | 43% | 21 |
| #6 | Minotaur59 | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | i need more boollets | 17 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Chewbacca | 13 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | sigma grindset | 9 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | FoLy | 8 | 0.0190 |
| #5 | wZy | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | i need more boollets | 503 | 0.14 | 15 min |
| #2 | sigma grindset | 413 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #3 | wZy | 215 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #4 | Chewbacca | 24 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| #5 | FoLy | 23 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | i need more boollets | +3.12 | 73 | 81 |
| #2 | wZy | +0.88 | 78 | 70 |
| #3 | Audijaa | +0.10 | 48 | 56 |
| #4 | sigma grindset | -0.12 | 39 | 71 |
| #5 | FoLy | -0.74 | 76 | 29 |





