








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 683 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 473 matches | ||
| Faceit | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 113 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




103 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5910 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,586 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7909 | 27% |
| Smokes | 6777 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 8163 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 6737 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,038,435 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5761 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wZy | 59% | 109 |
| #2 | Audijaa | 55% | 170 |
| #3 | sigma grindset | 53% | 329 |
| #4 | Chewbacca | 48% | 173 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wZy | 59% | 109 |
| #2 | Audijaa | 55% | 170 |
| #3 | sigma grindset | 53% | 329 |
| #4 | Chewbacca | 48% | 173 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sigma grindset | 56 | 0.0081 |
| #2 | Chewbacca | 17 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | Audijaa | 13 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | wZy | 5 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sigma grindset | 919 | 0.13 | 29 min |
| #2 | wZy | 440 | 0.19 | 13 min |
| #3 | Audijaa | 209 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #4 | Chewbacca | 44 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | i need more boollets | +2.18 | 72 | 79 |
| #2 | wZy | +0.06 | 78 | 68 |
| #3 | Audijaa | -0.04 | 48 | 57 |
| #4 | sigma grindset | -0.06 | 45 | 69 |
| #5 | Chewbacca | -2.15 | 48 | 37 |





