








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 234 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 264 matches | ||
| Faceit | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 68 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




57 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2733 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,111 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3108 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3381 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3071 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2551 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,142,774 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1960 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Audijaa | 58% | 140 |
| #2 | wZy | 57% | 115 |
| #3 | i need more boollets | 53% | 329 |
| #4 | Chewbacca | 49% | 139 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Audijaa | 58% | 140 |
| #2 | wZy | 57% | 115 |
| #3 | i need more boollets | 53% | 329 |
| #4 | Chewbacca | 49% | 139 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | i need more boollets | 61 | 0.0089 |
| #2 | Chewbacca | 15 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | Audijaa | 8 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | wZy | 5 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | i need more boollets | 890 | 0.13 | 27 min |
| #2 | wZy | 454 | 0.19 | 13 min |
| #3 | Audijaa | 173 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | Chewbacca | 39 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | i need more boollets | +2.68 | 69 | 80 |
| #2 | sigma grindset | +0.00 | 46 | 68 |
| #3 | Audijaa | -0.06 | 47 | 58 |
| #4 | wZy | -0.09 | 78 | 67 |
| #5 | Chewbacca | -2.24 | 48 | 36 |





