










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1564 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,158 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1210 | 38% |
| Smokes | 635 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 500 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 813 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $406,810 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 64 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JVME | 88% | 8 |
| #2 | (Not)MaestroEbrut | 86% | 7 |
| #3 | iconic | 86% | 7 |
| #4 | in another life | 80% | 10 |
| #5 | candis | 80% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Lil’caesar | 67% | 9 |
| #10 | skaproodle | 67% | 12 |
| #11 | retired old man | 56% | 9 |
| #12 | ⊹ Lukihiko | 42% | 26 |
| #13 | murasakie | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⊹ Lukihiko | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | candis | 1 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | coquettepopcorn♡𓍯𓂃 | 1 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | JVME | 1 | 0.0062 |
| #5 | Kyo 神 | 1 | 0.0070 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⊹ Lukihiko | 91 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #2 | murasakie | 66 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #3 | candis | 36 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | JVME | 34 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #5 | skaproodle | 27 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (Not)MaestroEbrut | +4.90 | 91 | 51 |
| #2 | JVME | +4.75 | 85 | 60 |
| #3 | in another life | +2.61 | 89 | 72 |
| #4 | Fayko | +2.42 | 71 | 51 |
| #5 | candis | +2.41 | 60 | 59 |





