








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 891 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 170 matches | ||
| Premier | 152 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8721 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,887 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8331 | 33% |
| Smokes | 6224 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 6036 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4296 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,206,576 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1101 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LordScorpy | 62% | 86 |
| #2 | Pr0ject | 60% | 168 |
| #3 | Tétrahydrocannabinol | 59% | 76 |
| #4 | BEAN | 56% | 73 |
| #5 | Rusty | 53% | 352 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | ASSA | 52% | 114 |
| #8 | Fantasy | 51% | 49 |
| #9 | Penguin | 51% | 366 |
| #10 | Zelenta | 48% | 138 |
| #11 | HSStiNG | 45% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rusty | 92 | 0.0134 |
| #2 | Pr0ject | 25 | 0.0074 |
| #3 | Penguin | 21 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Zelenta | 8 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | ASSA | 7 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Penguin | 2364 | 0.32 | 67 min |
| #2 | Rusty | 1093 | 0.16 | 25 min |
| #3 | Pr0ject | 574 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #4 | LordScorpy | 328 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #5 | HSStiNG | 277 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ASSA | +2.88 | 80 | 57 |
| #2 | LordScorpy | +1.60 | 85 | 64 |
| #3 | Anakeene (★) | +1.46 | 82 | 63 |
| #4 | Rusty | +1.05 | 73 | 51 |
| #5 | Pr0ject | +1.04 | 82 | 60 |





