








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 763 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 35 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




127 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4171 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,884 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4032 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4983 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3104 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3765 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,843,911 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 882 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ASSA | 56% | 45 |
| #2 | Anakeene (★) | 53% | 352 |
| #3 | Penguin | 51% | 128 |
| #4 | Pr0ject | 49% | 99 |
| #5 | Fantasy | 45% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anakeene (★) | 43 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | Pr0ject | 21 | 0.0105 |
| #3 | Penguin | 10 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | ASSA | 7 | 0.0092 |
| #5 | Fantasy | 6 | 0.0079 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ASSA | +3.98 | 82 | 51 |
| #2 | Anakeene (★) | +2.29 | 85 | 59 |
| #3 | Pr0ject | +1.86 | 88 | 59 |
| #4 | Rusty | +1.27 | 72 | 51 |
| #5 | Penguin | +0.33 | 59 | 68 |





