








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 101 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 119 matches | ||
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2206 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,528 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2642 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2226 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1641 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2019 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $359,637 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pr0ject | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Rusty | 6 | 0.0125 |
| #3 | riciclato | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Anakeene (★) | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Penguin | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Penguin | 815 | 0.38 | 24 min |
| #2 | Pr0ject | 352 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #3 | Anakeene (★) | 219 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | BEAN | 197 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #5 | Rusty | 79 | 0.16 | 2 min |





