










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
892 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,889 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 989 | 34% |
| Smokes | 718 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 837 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 345 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $115,162 of utility $46 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Casio | 62% | 21 |
| #2 | Shifty | 51% | 35 |
| #3 | shiro | 51% | 39 |
| #4 | anna | 49% | 47 |
| #5 | aksel | 49% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Shifty | 51% | 35 |
| #3 | shiro | 51% | 39 |
| #4 | anna | 49% | 47 |
| #5 | aksel | 49% | 43 |
| #6 | R3 | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shiro | 7 | 0.0088 |
| #2 | anna | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | aksel | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Shifty | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aksel | 231 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| #2 | shiro | 156 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #3 | anna | 70 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Casio | 40 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Shifty | 30 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aksel | +3.17 | 60 | 63 |
| #2 | shiro | +1.48 | 63 | 60 |
| #3 | R3 | +0.75 | 72 | 44 |
| #4 | 1958 BMW Isetta | +0.06 | 64 | 52 |
| #5 | Casio | -0.14 | 77 | 42 |





