








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 303 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 242 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 84 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




100 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2761 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,394 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3951 | 38% |
| Smokes | 2897 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2516 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1030 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,399,605 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 175 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | boomer | 44% | 198 |
| #7 | ZGVmdXNlIGlmIGdheQ== | 42% | 191 |
| #8 | REAL REAL bait | 40% | 273 |
| #9 | BraxOlof | 38% | 40 |
| #10 | Gitler | 36% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | boomer | 94 | 0.0237 |
| #2 | REAL REAL bait | 63 | 0.0113 |
| #3 | Crack Hamster ๐โขโข๐ฆงโข๐ฆโข๐ | 39 | 0.0197 |
| #4 | ZGVmdXNlIGlmIGdheQ== | 27 | 0.0072 |
| #5 | Dompa | 26 | 0.0165 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | boomer | 813 | 0.21 | 20 min |
| #2 | REAL REAL bait | 496 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #3 | ZGVmdXNlIGlmIGdheQ== | 174 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #4 | Crack Hamster ๐โขโข๐ฆงโข๐ฆโข๐ | 137 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | BraxOlof | 137 | 0.16 | 3 min |





